"You  never seem to understand my problem" she said
"Look why dont you sort these issues out before we see each other again" he replied
"I am trying to, but it seems so difficult,I..........dont know what to do."
"You have to make a decision , sooner or later."
"Does it matter to you that I love you?And that is why I want to meet you."
"Why do you think I meet you? Just for fun, is it."
" I dont know. When will I see you again?"
"Give me a call , see if we can work this out."
"You mean to say that you wont see me again until I stop meeting Shibir?"
"If you want to put it that way......er......well.yes"
"But I cant completely ignore him.You know that."
"I know that and I also know how many times you find reasons to see him.Do you love him?'
"I wouldnt be with you if that were the case."
"You always said you never loved him."
"I am telling you I dont."
"So how can you take such a long time to get over him?You want to see me everyday, but I am willing to live together if you get rid of this Shibir business.and you cant make up your mind. This is ridiculous.Now what do I make of this. You tell me Rena."
He always took her name when he was angry or passionate and he obviously was not passionate at this point of time.Rena couldnt stop crying. She always found it so easy to cry.....when she was sad, angry, confused,frustrated.......and she could never identify the emotion she felt when she cried. She liked to be the little girl who when cried loved to be picked up and cuddled, comforted and put to be. Unfortunately the men in her life did not have a clue.
"Rena ,c'mon now, We hae to act with some maturity. This situation is complex enough without you having to create a scene around here. There are people looking at us."
Rena got up from her chair and went out of their favourite restaurant."Oh....DEVEN"
Deven was at a loss. He hated to follow her. He leaned further into the chair and lit a cigarette. The solution to any problem, the perfect  celebration, the best antidepressant according to Deven was a cigarette. He did love her.He tried to recollect where he went wrong and how.but the blank space which encircled his mind mingled with the smoke and he drifted off to think about his new project.
Rena kept on driving, thinking, weeping and when she realised herself in the parking lot it was the car park of "Shubham Apts" the apartments where Shibir lived.She longed to go upstairs and relax in the bean bag which now belonged to Shibir alone, but fear of accidentally running into him or someone he knew made her change the reverse gear and drive agian.
She went home and called Deven.He wasnt home.She was surprised when she realised she couldnt be bothered to call his cell,she did it nevertheless out of habit or fear of losing him.
"Yes Rena. I was about to call you. I am sorry yaar. I should have realised how difficult it is for you and you need time to adjust."
She did not reply. So he asked"Where are you?'
"Home"
"I will come after I see Samir. He is getting married tomorrow. I have to go and see him before I leave for Delhi tomorrow."
"Oh yeah I forgot"
She didnt specify what it is that she had forgotten. that Samir was getting married or that Deven was going to Delhi. It did not matter. She said"Ok then See you.''
She hung up the phone and went to the kitchen to reheat her leftover food. She realised how she would have longed for this lazy evening some time back in her life. She could picture herself cooking after a days work and Shibir changing channels, with a little bit of everyday conversations. How she longed for that bit of romance in her life.
Shibir used to be so engrossed in the TV, he never noticed her, she thought.Shibir, Shibir again, why was she thinking of him?Well why not. He was the man she had married.
                                                   ...................to be continued